This is one of the funnier moments in my life and also one of the more… gut wrenching.
It happened one day while I was in a well-known mall in Metro Manila (no mall naming to protect the good name of the Mall, as if it had any). I was minding my own business when suddenly an old woman approached me and asked, "Gusto mo ng babae? (would you like a girl?)" So grandma is a pimp, eh. It was no surprise at all since the mall was known to be crawling with pimps and whores (like I said, it's not like it had any good name to begin with). Being the curious person that I am, I inquired of her the hiring price. It was at a price of Php 500. Cheap (in every sense of the word and it depends on who's spending).
The funny part was when I asked where the girl she was pimping was. Then she said, "Ako (Me)." What?! If I were drinking something at that time, I would have blown the whole contents of my mouth on her face. Thankfully, I wasn't. And I kept my composure and kept the laughter from leaping out of me. Being a granny that she is, I respectfully declined.
I thought that was the end of it. She kept pressing saying, "Sige na, good service naman eh (Come on, I give good service)." What the hell! By this time, I really felt like farting because I had to contain my laughter. My goodness, grandma. Are these desperate times? No.
At last she gave up. However, by this time, she started pimping other girls. Younger girls she said; one was a stout woman, another one was missing her front teeth. This would be being mean but, really, they're at the bottom of the likable chart, way below dog poop. If I could read grandma pimp's mind by that time, I believe she'd be thinking, "Grandma doesn't look so bad now, huh?"
With the relentless pimping, and my so wanting to laugh or at least give out a giggle, I had to leave and let it out some place else. The novelty book section of the bookstore seemed very appropriate.
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