A few years passed and I learned about its meaning. It's a state of feeling is what I understood it was. It was sadness. A very deep kind of sadness. Still I was too young to even consider its effects. If I'm not mistaken, I had anime, I had video games, I had my bros. Depression wasn't much of a concern.
Fast forward around fifteen years. When I just have bits of anime, pieces of video games, my bros are scattered everywhere, plus the weight of the real world on my shoulders. I've got watching limitations; not allowed to watch the usual amount of tokusatsu, and anime that I used to watch. I don't even go out to see movies anymore. Pieces of video games; I'm down to my 3DS Lite, and PS3. No longer able to buy myself a new console, waiting for those two to break down. Not to mention a so-called gaming allowance. I've been told that I'm too old to do all these.
Even my passion of writing is on the brink of going gone. I can no longer do it because I don't earn anything from it anyway. Because everything is about money. If it doesn't earn, don't do it. I'm slowly running out of hobbies. Very soon, I'll be just a shell of my former self.
That's when depression kicks in.
If I can't do my writing, my drawing, my video editing, my video gaming, my show watching for myself. Then I am not doing it for anyone. At least not for free.